I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
