I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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