I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
