I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
