I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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