I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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