Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
