I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
