Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I want her autograph on my taint
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Randomize
