My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize