how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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