We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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