She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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