I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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