make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
