8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
