why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
