It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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