holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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