yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
