you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
foreskin is a definite game changer
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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