Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Jerry, you need to find god
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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