maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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