i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
