But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
