is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
