She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just google imaged poop.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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