how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
