3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
