woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
