i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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