I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
