So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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