awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
