Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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