She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
