She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
