Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
