but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
