I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
