i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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