that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
