There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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