how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
are you so shy because you have an std?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
