bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
