I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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