have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you traded sex for a burrito?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize