Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
