I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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