its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
