i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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