sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
