she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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