there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
