Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
