4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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